Dear L.A., I’m learning to say I love you.
He started this blog looking back to the past. I’ll do the same. All I wanted was to be there for Austin. I wanted to be there for him while he was driving for hours and hours while he was exhausted. I wanted to be there while he was with his family he didn’t want to see. I wanted to be there while he saw his grandmother. All I wanted to say was that I loved him, to make him feel as safe as I could.
The heat. 100 degree weather, and meeting the boyfriend’s family. Arizona is the state that I can never see myself living in but that will keep so many memories. Family and strangers wrapped into one night.
Did you make any progress moving to Portland?
Money money money. We have a new project and we’ve spent the last year living together. I know we can do this. The finances have been sorted out and we seem to be set for the months to come.
Did you learn anything new about yourself?
I’m too passive. I need to learn when enough is enough and how to be the deciding voice. For too long I’ve let others make all the decisions and let them decide what’s the best decision at the moment. No more. I learned that I need to trust myself on what’s the best for myself and everyone involved. Moving to a new city will be the test I can meet.
How’s the music?
My school friend was able to give me the code to the local college’s practice rooms. I was able to practice for two hours a day for a week. After a month break it was tiring, but it felt good. I can’t wait to start performing again.
How is Aphotic Night coming along?
So far so good. I’m working on my drawings and watercolor regularly. A little at a time. Here is a rough draft of a Banshee I’ve worked on for Austin:
I’ll find my style. I’ll move to Portland. This will be a good year.
I can’t wait.